There are no steps in this house

There are no steps in this house. None at all.

We live in a 1500 sq ft ranch style home. There are no steps anywhere in it and no steps leading up to it, but more important than the absence of steps in the house is the absence of steps in our family.

If you are reading this you are probably already aware that we are a blended family. His, mine, and ours. What you may not be aware of is that the word "step" is not used as an adjective for parents, children, or siblings in our home.

When Mr. Handsome and I were engaged I began to really think about the "step" title. I had a stepdad once and never had an issue with the title. I also didn't have a relationship with him... Well, not a good one, anyway. In our discussion about our children, the first decision we made was pretty clear. My former spouse had not seen our children for almost two years. My daughter didn't remember him and my son only had two or three memories at best. So that seemed like a no brainer. I just called him (let's call him - Mr. Free Spirit - to be kind) and said, "I'm marrying Mr. Handsome. He wants to adopt the kids. Will you sign the paperwork?" and I got a very simple "yes" from Mr. Free Spirit. So Mr. Handsome adopted Gigglebox(6) and Miss Princess(3), and since July of 2010 they call Mr. Handsome, daddy.

So now we had the older children to think about. They were ages 5,8, and 9 when we married, so they definitely knew I wasn't there mom. I had no intention of trying to be. Mr. Handsome has joint custody of the older three, so we have them a literal 50% of the time. They have a mom, and I'm not it, and that's okay. Now, they also have me and the sound of "stepmom" makes me cringe. Maybe because it seems to separate family like steps separate levels of the house. May it was because I had seen too many Disney movies with evil step-mothers. Whatever it was, I had adamantly decided that was not going to be a desciption of me or anyone in that house. Gigglebox and Little Princess were no longer "steps" by adoption they were siblings. So that made things a little easier. Coming up with a different title for me was a little harder. Miss Lovenotes(6) at one point asked if she could call me mom. Although, it warmed my heart that she looks at me that way I had to decline. As a mother myself I couldn't take that title from someone who is actively involved in their children's lives. So the older kids call me Victoria. Sometimes Vickie. And if they are talking about me to someone else they call me ExtraMom or BonusMom. 

I want to have a relationship with them that says "love" without words being necessary. I love them like my own. They are part of my six kids. No separation. No "step". With the addition Smiley baby, our family is really complete. 

So if you were a fly on the wall in home for day, you would hear plenty of "brothers" and "sisters", "Victorias" and "dads", but you won't hear "step"... and more than anything else, you'll hear a lot of "I love yous". And those are my favorite. 

We did it! - One year anniversay in a blended family

It might sound a little dramatic to be so excited that we made it a year with our marriage and family still intact. Honestly, like all things, it is ONLY by God's grace that we made it through. With all the excitement and trials added to our first year of marriage I feel like I ran into a tornado and was spit out on the other side. As you and I know, the eye of the tornado is beautiful. So at the end of year one I love my husband more than ever. I didn't think we could be better friends, but we are. I love all of the kids more each day. I love my Savior more because of His mercy. I love my new baby boy who lives up to his name - Joyful Healer.

I love tradition, so our anniversary definitely surrounded the idea of it being our paper anniversary. We didn't do anything big. We had four ours to ourselves, so we walked around the local downtown area to visit shops and have lunch. I purchased tickets to a concert for him (the tickets are paper of course) and since we couldn't go out of town this month my wonderful husband put together clues on paper to show that he was getting us a cabin to go back to our miniature honey moon. He also wrote me a poem in Welsch.

So here's to paper! Just like the marriage certificate isn't just a piece of paper, these memories aren't just pieces of paper. To me, it is a reminder of our love for eachother, and God's sustaining love for us, over this first year. May God be so kind to us in every year that follows!